I knew it would happen. I had known for years, every single holiday and birthday, but that didn’t make the moment any less painful.

My mother, Eleanor, had always been a woman who treasured appearances. Her house in the leafy suburb of Shaker Heights, just outside Cleveland, was always immaculate, her silver polished, her lipstick perfectly applied. She hosted family gatherings like a general staging a parade, and every grandchild was lined up to receive her generous, showy affection. Every grandchild except my Lily.